Tales From The Throne – Part 1: Cappadocia, Turkey

by Apr 6, 2018Destinations, Turkey16 comments

  • Warning: The following blog post contains scenes that are graphic in nature and may not be suitable for children. Reader discretion is advised.

Tales From The Throne

I woke up on the morning of my flight with diarrhea.

Wait a minute. I should probably backtrack. During our time in Cappadocia, Turkey we wandered through underground cities and explored many cave type houses and churches. We spent 2 nights in a cave hotel, got a Turkish bath and ate delicious lamb cooked in a clay pot, twice.

The highlight, though, was the magical Balloon ride over the moon-like terrain. 

That killer Kabab

Late in the afternoon, I decided to get something to eat. Nothing fancy, just something quick and cheap. I found a Kebab stand which barely had any meat on it but had some leftovers at the bottom. For some strange reason (and against my better judgment) I ordered one.

I woke up in the morning with serious diarrhea and to make matters worse, not only was I was flying out to Athens that morning, it’s a 45-minute drive to the airport. Then from Cappadocia, it’s a flight to Istanbul and a transfer flight from Istanbul to Athens.

Shit, (no pun intended)

During my ride from the hotel to the airport I fell asleep. This probably saved me and everyone else from needing to pull over on the side of a barren road, early in the morning with barely any light.

When we arrived at Cappadocia airport, I sat near the washroom and didn’t move until 2 seconds before it was time to board.

When I arrived in Istanbul, surprisingly or ironically (for dark humor) there was a pharmacy in the airport. I do remember thinking, that’s quite odd – why would there be a pharmacist in an airport? But then I thought “F” it,  I need to get in there.”No time to be embarrassed, I told the pharmacist straight out. “I have diarrhea!”Now, my man did try to keep a straight face…but it did not last.

He started laughing so hard that he must have peed himself. Meanwhile…I was trying so hard not to shit myself.

Haha, just give me the damn pills PLEASE! Again, I sat near the washroom and I didn’t move until 2 seconds before it was time to board. I made it to Athens but unfortunately, that is not where the story ends… Tales From The Throne – Part 2: Athens, Greece 

Lessons Learned

  • Trust your gut. If it doesn’t feel right, look right or sound right make a left and get the hell outta dodge. Taking the little leftover scraps of meat, which look like they’ve been there for a while to make a kabob is just begging for food poisoning. I knew better, but what possessed me to ignore my gut feeling and buy it anyway I’ll never know.
  • Part of the experience of travel is to experience what’s different. Obviously, this includes music, customs, architecture, festivals, and traditions. Even more obvious is food. Not all food is prepared the same and not all food safety standards are equal. Sometimes whether a place is packed with people or not might matter but a place that looks like a hole in the wall can be making the best food in the city.
  • While you can not guarantee that you will not be sick or get food poisoning when abroad the least you can do is be prepared. Aside from prescribed meds be sure to pack headache pills, diarrhea pills, and flu pills.
  • Oh and trust your damn gut. It’s always right.


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